Shattered
by L0velyAng3l
Summary: She never thought she could feel this much pain. He has felt that kind of pain before. But through pain, love can be born. Damage can be repaired. And a lost chance can be regained.


One hand was placed on the small of her back. The other had loosely grabbed her shoulder. She pulled him closer and felt the heat emanate from his body. But this was not the heat of passion. No matter how much closer she pulled him, she felt no fiery response from him.

It was just a few seconds. They broke apart. Slowly, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. She stood there and kneaded the bridge of her nose. Her eyes searched for anything to look at – just so she wouldn't have to look him in the face. There was nothing. Nothing at all – at least, nothing from him. She had given him her all. But it wasn't enough.

Why? Why now? Out of all the things in her life that she could've botched, this just had to be it.

They looked at each other, not saying a word. Finally, she cleared her throat and spoke up.

"Did you feel anything?" she asked. Her eyes were cast down, but she raised them to gaze into his. "Anything at all?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm so sorry."

She smiled sadly. "Don't be. Frankly, I didn't feel anything either." That was a lie. She _did_ feel something. She felt love. A love that would never be returned by him.

Tears threatened to flow down her cheeks. To escape the humiliation of having him see her like this, she raised her hand in a slight wave and quickly walked past him, out of the room, and into the corridor. She hoped he didn't see that first tear fall.

He did. "I'm sorry…"

She kept on running. Throughout the school she ran until she ended up outside in the rain by the lake. There she stood, staring listlessly at the cold, murky water. The deep depths darkened her face. They were there just for her – to wash away her pain. Unconsciously, her feet started to move towards the edge of the lake. She felt water rise up to her ankles. Her knees. Soon her whole body up to her shoulders was submerged in the gray swamp. She froze for a moment in time. What was she doing? She had to live. For her family. For her friends. She had to leave behind this ridiculous thought of erasing all her pain. She had to find love. A slightly delirious laugh echoed from her lips. She had found love and was broken by it. It would happen again. To be broken into a million little pieces that would never fit together again, it was something she couldn't handle. One of those tiny little pieces would be with whoever had broken her, and he wouldn't be able to give it back. It would be just like what happened with _him_, the one she had left back at the Room of Requirement. No, she couldn't go through that. Not again. Never again.

On towards the middle of the lake she walked. Before long her head was submerged to the nose. At last, she was about to go under when she felt strong, firm hands grip her waist and pull her backwards, backwards to reality, pain, and heartbreak. She fought the hands, hitting and biting them and their adjoining arms until she soon was dropped. She collapsed in a heap on the ground where she was, a couple feet from the lake.

There were tears on her face, but she couldn't distinguish them from the rain or the lake water. Sobbing uncontrollably, she started to crawl back towards the lake but was stopped yet again by those same strong arms. They held her back as she sobbed and reached out for the water to pull her from the anonymous embrace and into its own.

"Let me go! Let me go! Let me drown! No. I can't do this. No..." She wept. She wept for her broken heart. She wept for the life she lost a year ago. She wept for herself.

Her struggling subsided. She lay limp in the arms that held her, whimpering and saying softly the same words over and over again. Her words begged her rescuer to let her have the peace she so dearly longed for. As her voice softened to a slight whisper, she was laid gently on the ground. She curled up into a ball and cried silently, oblivious to everything around her. A hand reached down to caress her cheek. It brushed away the strands of brown hair plastered to her face.

Slowly, she turned her head upward. Eyes blurry from the tears and the rain, she couldn't make out who her unwanted liberator was. She didn't care. She bowed her head inward again and remained in her previous position.

Minutes passed, then hours. The rain had stopped at one point, but she was only dimly aware of the sun shining through the dark clouds. Neither was she fully aware that her rescuer had sat down beside her.

Dusk took over. She uncurled a little bit. As the night stars began to appear, she found the courage to speak. She spoke of her pain, only hoping that talking of it would lessen it, even just a bit.

"I loved him." She felt her rescuer shift suddenly. Ignoring it, she went on. "I loved him for three years now – well, two and half to be exact. Last year, when he caused so much trouble for everyone and himself, I was prepared to stand by him. He came back this year and I was so glad. But it seemed that when he was thinking over his life, he decided to change almost everything – including loving me." She snorted softly. "I was a fool to think that maybe his love would continue on. What a waste of three years, huh." She said it as more a statement than a question.

She finally uncurled and propped herself up to a sitting position. Taking a look at her savior, she realized who it was despite the night sky shadowing his features. She was surprised but her sorrow prevented her from feeling the full extent of it. Not saying anything, she looked into his eyes.

He ignored her questioning gaze and stared out into the dark sea of stars. He tilted his head back a little bit and then returned his gaze to her face.

"A lot of people started to hate you, you know? Why did you stay with him? Apparently, from what you said, you knew he had stopped loving you at the beginning of this year. You've spent six months trying to bring that love back." He gazed at her intently, wanting an answer for why she picked the man who would break her heart – why she rejected him.

She sighed and shifted to look at Hogwarts. "Draco gave me two of the best years of my life. Not in public of course." She smiled regretfully and paused a moment to weigh her words. "No, never in public. During the day, we acted like the worst of enemies. Then, in the night we acted like the best of lovers. I don't know what happened, but I wish that it hadn't." She sighed again and dropped her head.

After a moment, he tilted her chin up with his index finger. "It's his loss. You don't deserve death, or the _pig_ that caused you to think that." He said it so vehemently that she drew back, startled. He dropped his hand. "But you still love him, don't you? No matter what he did, you'd take him back in a second if he wanted you to." He looked away, towards the Forbidden Forest, but not before she could see the flash in his eyes.

She couldn't believe he said that! After all that Draco had done to her, she'd _never_ take him back!

_Yeah, right,_ said a little voice inside her head. _You'd run into his arms if you given the chance. _

He stood up and brushed leaves of grass from his clothes. He held out a hand to help her up. She sat there and looked up at him; looked into his eyes.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"Well, we have classes tomorrow, and it wouldn't do any good for the smartest witch to be missing from class. Rumours, you know. Plus, I couldn't very well leave you and let you go back by yourself. You might lose your sanity again and jump into the lake." He meant to sound humorous, but failed. Instead, he sounded melancholy and not at all sincere.

"No. I mean, why did you save me? I hurt you. When you saw me in the lake, you should've just pretended that you hadn't."

"It was automatic. I didn't think. Maybe I would have done what you say I should've."

She lowered her head and cast her eyes down. That's the answer she'd been expecting. So, why did she feel like she'd been cut by the silver of a sharpened blade?

Realizing that his hand was still outstretched, he pulled it back. After a moment, he took a step forward and crouched down next to her.

Softly, he spoke. "Hermione, I could've done that. Maybe I didn't have the right to, but I could've believed that I had every right. But I didn't. Do you want to know why?"

She raised her head to meet his eyes. "Yes," she whispered.

He stared into those deep, brown pools of heaven. Sighing, he dropped his head, breaking the eye contact.

"Because I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. The thought to leave you be didn't even cross my mind as I saw you sink down into that dark abyss. And no one has the right to let the one they love die." He straightened up, but kept eye contact with her. "I know you'll need time to get over Draco, but I'll be here – waiting. I just ask that when the time comes, please look and see if there is any place in your heart for me."

Hermione slowly got to her feet. "Yes, I will need time to heal. But no one can replace him in my heart."

His face fell slightly and he turned away from her, towards Hogwarts. "Yes – well…er…I hope you…er…heal fine…" He clamped his mouth shut and strode towards Hogwarts. _Are you damaged? "Heal fine?" Why the hell would you say something so stupid! _But the embarrassment of his statement couldn't hide the pain. After all that he had said to her, she still couldn't even _consider_ even just giving him a chance? He felt like a complete fool. He should've seen it coming. He should've –

He slowed to a stop and stared at his hand; stared at the delicate fingers intertwined with his. He looked up from their hands and into her eyes. He searched them for something – anything – to tell him what was going on.

"No, no one can replace Draco. But I think I can find a place in my heart just for you, Blaise Zabini." She gifted him with a small smile and tugged his hand, leading him to the doors of the Great Hall.

He smiled. Love had shattered him, but the pain and suffering could still be rewarded. And as he gazed upon their entwined hands, he could feel that there would soon be proof of that.


End file.
